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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22701445">i might teach you how to fly</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/toziernewby/pseuds/toziernewby'>toziernewby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Eddie leaves Myra, Eddie leaves New York, Eddie meets Richie, M/M, Meet-Cute, Richie is a teacher!, and now he can't stop thinking about him, dad!eddie, eddie has a daughter, the losers will appear later</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:21:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22701445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/toziernewby/pseuds/toziernewby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>His alarm clock woke him up from a dreamless night. With a heavy hand, Eddie unsuccessfully tries to turn off the device. A groan comes out of his pursed lips as his hand falls on his face. His eyes open. He watches the ceiling of his little room for a few moments, before getting up from the bed he had lived in for two months now. Outside, the sun is already burning the windows, and the heat is choking the little air around him. Leaving New York for San Francisco could have been a good idea, if the change had not been made in the middle of summer.</p><p> </p><p>Or the one where Eddie meets his daughter's teacher, Richie</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak &amp; Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcc/gifts">kcc</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi!<br/>So, it's my first ever fanfiction. As a french person, i can certify you there will be typos and spelling mistakes and i'm truly sorry about that!<br/>This little one shot is a part of the "Eddie is a Single Father and Richie is a Hot Teacher" challenge by @kcc! She's awesome, go follow her!<br/>I can be find on twitter, @toziernewby.<br/>Hope you like it, i might (lol i will) continue this one shot and turn it into a full fiction about Reddie. Do not hesitate to let me know what you thinks about it, or if you want to see something happening!<br/>I would also thanks @trans_ekaspbrak and @allo_arty on twitter for proofreading me, ily!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His alarm clock woke him up from a dreamless night. With a heavy hand, Eddie unsuccessfully tries to turn off the device. A groan comes out of his pursed lips as his hand falls on his face. His eyes open. He watches the ceiling of his little room for a few moments, before getting up from the bed he had lived in for two months now. Outside, the sun is already burning the windows, and the heat is choking the little air around him. Leaving New York for San Francisco could have been a good idea, if the change had not been made in the middle of summer. If it had been up to him, he would have left New-York right away, and his damn ex-wife too. He would have left his job, his apartment, his friends, would have left everything to protect his daughter. His princess, the love of his life. He sighs, the image of the child suddenly in mind. She won't wake up for at least an hour. Another hour where she can live peacefully in a world of love and sweetness, glitter and marmots, her new obsession. The very idea of the little girl, surrounded by stuffed animals, her blanket at the foot of the bed, makes his melt a little more under his white sheets. He could do anything for his daughter. He had already done so much for her.</p><p>He had let Myra choose everything for more than ten years, accepting her concern, her possessiveness, her mania without fail. He had seen doctors, taken his medication, stopped himself from going out. Cut himself off from all social life to the delight of his wife. She wanted the best for him, after all. She only wanted his well being. But suddenly Harper had arrived, and with it a new sensation. The need to protect her. Gradually, he watched in horror as Myra smothered the child, locking her in a vicious cycle of worry and control. No friends my darling, they only want to hurt you. No birthdays either, you could burn yourself, or worse. No going out to the park, you're crazy, you could fall! And in his mind, Eddie was fuming. He saw the little girl wasting away, moving unhappy through a life in a cage. He tried to raise his voice several times. To be heard. But his ex-wife heard nothing. So he left, Harper under his arm. He let Myra cry, cry in the perfect little house suddenly empty. His daughter in his arms, her face tucked into his neck, finally peaceful, finally reassured.</p><p>In the kitchen, under an impeccable cloth, the remains of a chocolate cake are waiting to be eaten by the little girl. A last minute surprise to reassure the panicked child at the idea of discovering a new school, a new environment, new students. Eddie sighs again. His coffee is flowing from the machine as he looks at the street in front of the little house. Already, several silhouettes are agitated. Some go to work in the dim morning light, others walk their dogs. Still others seem to just wander, happy. A smile feeds his face as he recovers his smoking mug. He settles in the living room, enjoys the silence. Heat. Peace.</p><p>He has time to take a shower, shave and prepare a nice meal for breakfast when finally small steps come to be heard in the corridor of the first floor. Eddie feels a smile grow on his face, even brighter than the sun rising in the sky.</p><p>« Hello? Is there a ghost in my house? »</p><p>A laugh escapes from the top of the stairs.</p><p>« Look ghost, I’m really scared you know? What should I do so you won’t haunt me? »</p><p>The laughter continues, quieter. He imagines Harper crouching, hand in front of her mouth to keep the noise down.</p><p>« Maybe I can give you my daughter’s chocolate cake, so you don’t eat me
- NO PAPA! »</p><p>Suddenly Harper appears, rolling down the stairs with her little feet to run into the living room, grabbing her father's leg.</p><p>« Please papa don’t give my cake away! »</p><p>Her sad little look is stronger than Eddie can bear it. He grabs the girl and carries her against his heart, not without placing a tender kiss on her rosy cheek.</p><p>« Don’t worry Harper, I believe you scared the ghost! He’s not here anymore so you can have all the cake you want. »</p><p>She laughs and then buries her face in the man’s shoulder.</p><p>« I love you papa.
- I love you too sweetheart. »</p><p> </p><p>_______________</p><p> </p><p>His fingers nervously tighten the steering wheel. Behind, Harper shakes her head to the beat of the music. He can see her worried look in the mirror and his heart squeezes. He knows how scared the child can be. He too is scared. What if she comes across a bad teacher? What if her classmates reject her? What if the food in the canteen makes her sick? Scenarios all crazier than the next are chaining to his confused mind. He only sees at the last moment the headlights of the car in front of him and brakes. The car stops suddenly and a curse comes out of his mouth faster than he would have liked. He hears Harper inhale and put her hands in front of her eyes.</p><p>« Papa! Bad words are for bad people
- Sorry sweetie, it’s just- »</p><p>He has no time to continue his sentence as the guy behind the wheel of the front car comes out and gives him a finger. Eddie, in his usual anger, returns politeness to him. The other seems to grumble in his unshaven beard and gets back into his vehicle to continue his journey. The single father nervously overtakes his new friend and presses the accelerator, leaving with a loud engine noise as he raises his finger again to the stranger.</p><p>It doesn't take long to get to Harper’s new school. The man parks, gets out of the car, and opens his daughter's door, an encouraging smile on his lips. Harper, frowning, is staring at him with her big black eyes, serious as always.</p><p>« Are you sure I need to go to school? I can go to work with you, I can come and fill out files with you and put sticky notes between the sheets. »</p><p>Eddie lets out a laugh as his eyes fill with tenderness for the little being in front of him.</p><p>« I know you love sticky notes but the school needs your talents love.
- Really?
- Yeah, I mean, what are they going to do if some ghosts attack, if you're not there? »</p><p>She seems to take time to think about the matter before grabbing her little bag and getting out of the car.</p><p>« I guess they need me… »</p><p>Eddie squats, putting his hands on the cheeks of the little girl, plunging his gaze into hers. God, she looks like him. His greatest pride.</p><p>« Did you take your pens? And your notebook?
- Yes papa, it’s all in my bag.
- Good, and what about the cookies I gave you? We don’t want you to faint do we?
- Yes papa, I took them, I will eat them during break.
- And what about your inhaler?
- In my pencil case! »</p><p>He smiles, runs his hand through the child's straight hair.</p><p>« Pay attention to yourself, okay? And if you have a problem, don't hesitate to ask your teacher for help. And if someone bothers you, tell me. Oh, and if you start to get a headache, ask to see the nurse. And don't forget to deep breathe when you are anxious, and stretch your legs every hour. And if you have to go to the toilet-
- You’re starting to sound like mom… »</p><p>Eddie sighs, concerns turning into pride. Harper is growing up so fast, it is hard for him to believe that she could have been a baby, a tiny little newborn laughing in his arms.</p><p>« Sorry. Have fun Harper, and don’t forget that I love you.
- I love you too. »</p><p>She comes to kiss his smooth cheek, then runs inside, the bag bouncing on her little shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>_______________</p><p> </p><p>The day went in slow motion, drowned out by papers, calls and meetings. Looking at his watch every ten minutes, he wondered what his daughter could do, how she felt, if everything was fine. He even nearly called the school to make sure nothing bad happened before he recovered. When the time finally came, he greeted his colleagues distractedly and set off for school. Once parked, he got out of his vehicle and joined the mothers in front of the open gate. Several eyes fell on him and his tailor-made suit. Eyes that burned his skin, red rising to his face as the discomfort settled. Only father in front of the gates, of course he was going to attract attention. The idea of being accosted by an enamored mother causes him to shiver in his spine. He remembers the day when he announced to Beverly, his best friend, that he had been attracted to a man for the first time in his life. Before he got to San Francisco, before summer, before he even left Myra. A painful revelation for the man, but which he had finally accepted, his eyes fixed on a colleague with the most interesting curves. She smiled at him, took her hand without a word. In the living room, Ben and their children were chasing a laughing Harper. Beverly had promised to call him tonight to ask him about his daughter's first day.</p><p>A sudden cloud of children rushes outside and his hands become sweaty. His eyes watch the crowd but can't find Harper. He waits, waits, but nothing. He feels his heart beating louder and louder as the school gradually empty. The last mothers walk away, not without giving him one last look, but still no sign of Harper. His throat ties shut and, without really controlling it, his legs start to move. He walks through the door, taking a quick step, and comes face to face with a school secretary.</p><p>« Excuse me… I can’t find my daughter, she didn’t go out like the other kids… I’m… »</p><p>His words, faster than usual, get lost as his mind quickens. What if she was injured? What if she got lost in school? Or if we had locked her in the toilet, by mistake? Or ... Someone could have kidnapped her. He feels beads of sweat forming on his forehead as the secretary watches him with a benevolent eye.</p><p>« What’s your daughter's name? Maybe she’s just still in her class, packing her bag?
- Yeah, hm, Harper, Harper Kaspbrak.
- Oh, the new kid! She’s room 103, just after this corridor, on the left.
- Thanks. »</p><p>He leaps out of the woman, unable to stay still for another minute. He is afraid he’ll go crazy if he can’t find her in this class. The corridor seems incredibly long, but finally he arrives at an open door. A sigh escapes his pale lips as he finds Harper there, laughing loudly at a man leaning over her. Eddie frowns, watching the figure chatting with his daughter.</p><p>« Excuse me… »</p><p>He doesn't finish his sentence as Harper lets out a scream of joy and runs into her father's arms who picks her up on the fly, thrust his face into the crook of her neck, relieved to find his child there. After a long hug, he finally spread a small, stern look.</p><p>« What were you doing, I was worried sick Harper!
- Sorry papa, we were talking about making friends, Richie said he’ll helps me… »</p><p>A sorry little pout comes to dress Harper's face and suddenly all anger leaves Eddie who smiles at her. A noise in the room reminds him that they are not alone. While putting down his daughter, Eddie takes a look at the one who seems to be the teacher…. And comes face to face with the cross driver this morning. His eyes go wide as the man smiles at him. He is tall, stupidly tall. His face is covered by large glasses that highlight his laughing blue eyes. On his sweat, a man skateboarding seems to have been painted by a child. His curly hair frames his square face…. He is not beautiful, strictly speaking. He is charming, though. Eddie stands there, silently, staring at him stupidly before regaining his senses.</p><p>« You? Who allowed a road hog like you to become a teacher??
- Well, the same person that delivered you your license I guess. »</p><p>The man spoke confidently, a bantering smile on his face driving Eddie mad with frustration.</p><p>« You think you’re funny?
- Always, it’s kinda my brand. »</p><p>Another smile, even deeper, that hits Eddie in the heart. Eddie frowning, grabbing his daughter's hand in a gesture.</p><p>« What were you doing with my daughter? School time is over, she shouldn't be alone here with a stranger.
- I’m not a stranger, I’m her teacher. Richie, Richie Tozier, nice to meet you. »</p><p>Richie, not without leaving the smile on his face, takes a few steps towards the other man and reaches out to him. Eddie looks at him for a moment, scowling, until he feels Harper's finger squeezing his fist. A look at the begging child and he felt his shoulders sag, anger giving way to love. With a sigh, he turns his gaze back to the adult and takes his hand, squeezing it longer than he should, staring into the blue ocean of the man.</p><p>« Are you gonna keep my hand? I need it for tomorrow, we’re doing a painting workshop. »</p><p>Eddie feels his face suddenly turning red, blood rising to the end of his ears. He lets go of the other man and takes a step back.</p><p>« Let’s go Harper, it’s time to go home. »</p><p>The little girl waves her teacher, a big smile on her face.</p><p>« Bye Harp, and don’t forget you have to give the friendship time to grow. Like a cactus! »</p><p>The little girl laughs and Eddie draws her towards the corridor, his face still as colorful. His big steps lead him to the car, Harper trotting by his side. He helps her get into the back of the vehicle before dropping into the driver's seat. A sigh leaves his lungs and he feels like he hasn't breathed for years. His eyes are lost at the front and silence crushes his little body stuck in his shirt. After a moment, Harper breaks the silence, concern in her voice.</p><p>« Papa? Are you okay? »</p><p>Eddie comes to his senses, and glances at her in the rear view mirror.</p><p>« Yeah.. Yeah… Can you give me your inhaler? I forgot mine. »</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie's day dreaming about this man he met today. Stan not so much.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! I'm sorry I didn't release a new chapter earlier. I didn't knew if i'll write more than just a one shot you know, but here i am. I decided to give StanPat kids because they're perfect, they need to share their perfectness with the world by invading it with little perfect children! Also, uncle!Richie rules.<br/>Sorry if there is typos, i'm french, feel free to contact me if you want me to correct something!<br/>You can find me on twitter, i'm @toziernewby! </p><p>Hope you'll enjoy this!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>« Do you believe in God ?<br/>
- I believe in sciences  »</p><p>Stan keeps his eyes on his magazine as Richie sighs. He's been sitting there for over an hour, legs over the back of the couch and head on the floor, completely upside down like the adult he refuses to be. Chloe looks at him with big enamored eyes, a smile on her lips. Beside her on the second sofa, Zachary plays on the console without paying attention to his surroundings. The little family awaits the return of Patty and the twins before starting their usual game night. The family meeting set like a clock is an old tradition. Long before the children, well, before Patty herself. Stanley and Richie, two broke students who found themselves trapped in the storm’s, heading out to the nearest bar during a quiz night. The two boys, responding more enthusiastically as the alcohol continued to be served, ended up winning well ahead of the rest of the participants. The ego boosted, they came back again and again.</p><p>Not sure, however, that Stan and Patty would take the Urises siblings with them to this kind of place now. The family couch is just as comfortable and here the beer is free.</p><p>« Do you believe in the science God then?<br/>
- There is no such this as- »</p><p>Stan stops, aware that the conversation will get nowhere. Not while Richie is there staring at the ceiling, sighing like an injured cow every two minutes to fill the silence.</p><p>« Okay Rich, what’s going on?<br/>
- You know, it was first day of school today.<br/>
- Yes, I know. I have four kids Richie. Is this about school?<br/>
- I met an angel at school. Or maybe he was God himself? »</p><p>Stan returned to his magazine and Zachary did not look up from his console. It’s only Chloe watching him as Richie’s face lights up, his eyes sparkling even more than usual, going from fireworks to milky way in a trance.</p><p>Chloe's smile fades from her father's half-amused, half-annoyed look. Teenage years are uncompromising. The man ended up closing his magazine to focus on his visibly troubled friend.</p><p>« I sure hope you’re not talking about a student. New staff member maybe? Patty told me the school hired a teacher from Arizona.<br/>
- You can’t date a colleague uncle Richie, imagine if you broke up with them and you still have to work together? »</p><p>The teacher's stupid gaze gives way to a puzzled frown.</p><p>« What are you- No! No Hugh is fifty-seven years old he is way too old for me and way too bald!<br/>
- Bold to say for a man with your forehead.<br/>
- Oh fuck you man, my forehead’s fine, right Chloe? »</p><p>Of course the teenager nods, all smiles. To the chagrin of her father who refrains from making the slightest comment. How can Richie not see what he is causing in his 14 year old daughter? Three-quarters of his teenage friends? Oh yes it's true.</p><p>« So, who is it then? »</p><p>Stan is not one to ask normally. But he knows Richie, he knows that his friend is waiting to be launched to drown him under his words. You might as well have control over when to start it.</p><p>Richie swings his long legs to the side and returns to a normal position on the couch, his red face from having been upside down for too long. His hands start to shake and Stan already regrets having started the Tozier machine</p><p>« It’s the father of the new girl, Harp! He cames to school after work to take her out and he was kissing her and hugging her and he spoke so soft to her and he was so cute and then he looked at me with those big brown eyes and yelled at me with a feral kitten energy because we almost had an accident the same morning because he drives like a fucking Fast and Furious extra and I gave him the finger and- »</p><p>Stan stops him, visibly concerned.</p><p>« You almost had an accident?<br/>
- Dad is it really the part that is concerning you? »</p><p>Zachary did not lift his head from his console yet his words still ring in the room as Richie looks at him with a smile, a feeling of tenderness taking place in his rib cage. This kid is a true copy of his father at the same age.</p><p>« Zach! Uncle Richie could have died!<br/>
- He did not Chloe, don’t be dramatic. Your uncle only succeeded to annoy some new human being like he always do except that this time he was in MY car. »</p><p>Stan's accusing gaze burns his cheeks. He would surely have ended up buried in the Uris garden if he had brought the car back with even a scratch. A welcome loan while waiting for his to come back from the garage, practically brand new for a model over seventeen years old.</p><p>« Your car is fine Manley, it’s my heart that’s been crashed, by an angel…. No, God himself.<br/>
- … What did God do this time? »</p><p>Patty's voice rises from the entrance to the big house as the twins come running into the living room, crashing into uncle's arms with crystal clear laughter.</p><p>« Ah! I’ve been attacked by little ghosts! Stan, call Bill Murray before they eat me! »</p><p>Patty comes kissing her husband before putting an arm around him, laying eyes on the adult playing with the two children, uttering incomprehensible screams that make the two kids laugh even more.</p><p>« I would rather call Kate McKinnon, she’s way more badass. »</p><p>Richie looks up at Chloe and smiles. A smile that she gives him back, of course.</p><p>« That’s my girl. »</p><p>Stan and Patty roll their eyes in a perfectly synchronized movement before she leaves to join the kitchen, followed by the two terrors claiming it’s time for a little snack. Stan takes the opportunity to resume the conversation, somewhat curious but above all worried. It’s not the first time that Richie has caught himself first sighting for a stranger. He knows it never ends well.</p><p>« So… What the name of whoever you pissed off this time? »</p><p>Richie’s brain stops spinning for two seconds, just enough for his heart to drop and fall to the bottom of his stomach.</p><p>« Shit, I forgot to ask. Stan, what have I done? I’m doomed, I’ll never see him again! »</p><p>It’s stupid, he shouldn’t panic at the thought of ending his little fantasy there. He shouldn’t feel so stupid and sad at the thought of missing his chance to see those eyes that have haunted him for hours. He barely hears his friend's exasperated complaint, too focused on his own nonsense, and on the sorry look of a Chloe who gets to the idea that she will never have a chance.</p><p>« You stupid ass, he’s a school parent, of course you’ll see him again.<br/>
- Oh right. »</p><p>It happens to him slowly, to Richie. It takes its time to reach his brain.</p><p>« Wait. Right, he’s a parent! He’s Harper dad, I should just ask her! Oh my God, wait… It’s like Cinderella Stan! He left his shoe in my class, only his shoe is three foot six and love My Little Pony!<br/>
- It’s not like Cinderella you dumb. It’s more like-<br/>
- The Princess Diary!<br/>
- Fuck yes Chloe you’re right! I’m gonna Princess Diarying him so much and we gonna have kids that will reign over the world!<br/>
- You both weary me.<br/>
- Non we don’t. »</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was inspired! Hope you'll enjoy it.<br/>At first I wanted Rebecca's parent to be a mom, because it would have been fun for Eddie to watch a woman trying to seduces him, but then i had another idea so, you'll see! And also, dad!Mike Hanlon rules!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He's doing some grocery shopping when a tall messy silhouette distracts him. Hairs living on their own, weird brown jacket, thick glasses. Staring for way to llong for it to be normal, Eddie frowns as it own reaction before going to meet the teacher, only to figure out the man who suddenly faces him.... is not his daughter's teacher. Eddie cheeks turn red and he pretends to catch a bag of tangerines in the shelf next to them so as not to alert the man who is looking at him with a suspicious look. He feels so stupid. Why would he have met the teacher in the first place? </p><p>It's not like it's the second time this week he thinks he sees him and reaches to "him". It's been a month sinc school started for a excited happy Harper who keeps talking about how her new friends are so cool and how Richie is the best teacher ever, allowing them to do art every hour even while they're doing math or history or whatever kids learn these days. Because of course, it's Richie. Not Mr Tozier or anything. The man seems to be the essence of the word unprofessional but Eddie does not dare to complain to the school because... Well because Harper seems to love him deeply. Not because he became obsessed with the broad-shouldered dunb guy that can't even call her by her ame. Harp, seriously? She's not a fucking string instrument or whatever. </p><p>So, he's almost prepared the day he actually met Richie Tozier out of nowhere in the middle of Scrap, Harper's new favorite store ever. Eddie watch him as the man grin, his shopping basket full of stuffs Eddie recognize immediately. Enough art and craft supplies for an army of little painters and inventors. The basket also contains glitters, strings, knitting supplies and... Is is it pink fabric? Who teach sewing at school?</p><p>"Is it my favorite Frisco driver i'm seeing right here?"</p><p>Richie's smile is so snooty, Eddie wants to punch him. Who this obnoxious giraffe thinks he is?</p><p>"I knew you didn't had any adult friends in this city." </p><p>Richie's grin grow visibly as his eyes refuse to leave Eddie's face. </p><p>"That's a good one shortcake.<br/>
- Sh... I'm sorry what did you just called me?! First i'm above average so fuck you, and second is this how you talk to parents of the kids you teach?<br/>
- Only the hot ones." </p><p>Richie accompanies his replica with a wink before the short man turns red from... He doesn't really know why. Anger? Discomfort? Atraction? No, that's stupid, it is anger, clearly. But he says nothing, rolling his eyes before leaving the man here, searching for colored markers for Harper. Him leaving Richie here without a word seams to bother the tall one who follows him. </p><p>"Okay sorry, maybe it was not cool from me.<br/>
- Yes, not cool is almost the word.<br/>
- So you don't like to be called hot, dully noted.<br/>
- What? No don't- I mean- "</p><p>Eddie seams to lost himself trying to responds. Of course he likes when someone call him hot. Especially when this someone has the biggest smille he's ever seen and blue eyes to die for. This situation totally is absurd.</p><p>"It's okay man, I get it. Your wife must be having fun with you. 'Darling your appearance is a delight for the eyes.' 'Thanks my dear, it is also pleasant to look at your perfectly balanced human body'-<br/>
- Oh my god stop it now!"</p><p>Richie's laughing meanwhile Eddie is bright red after watching Tozier trying to imitate him before doing a weird and terriblle impression of some californian bimbo?</p><p>"For the record, i'm not even married."</p><p>Eddie... Of course it's how he responds. The weirdest way to respond possible. Not by saying it's inappropriate or perfectly childish of despicable or noothing. No, Eddie decided to respond by saying i'm not married. He searches a way to change the subject, and to do it quickly.</p><p>"I can't believe people trust you with kids."</p><p>This time Richie says nothing, his smile fading a little, the spark in his stupid eyes turning off. It makes Eddie feel uncomfortable, like when he's not responding to Harper who tries to show him her new drawing because he has more important things to do he says, and she starts pouting and go sulk in a corner of the room. His gaze falls on the basket again, trying to change the subject.</p><p>"So... You have kids at home?<br/>
- What? Oh no, it's for school.<br/>
- Does the school not have a budget for supplies?<br/>
- Yes... But it's not enough to buy good stuff you know. And those kids are really creative, they need the best.<br/>
- ... Are you telling me you are buying supplies for school with your own money?"</p><p>Eddie his genuinely impressed now, and maybe Richie can sees it in his eyes but he doesn't actually care. Harper had cool teacher before but this dedicated? Never even in dreams. He now feels awful implying the other man is not good with children. Richie looks at him and lift his shoulders. </p><p>"I guess I don't have many other alternatives. Craft and shit is good for kids growth and for mental health. I would rather have them being healthy than buy me the new Xbox..."</p><p>Eddie's gaze return to the basket. Colors everywhere, googly eyes, wool.. More than he ever bought for his own child. Okay, maybe Richie was a good guy after all... </p><p>"Or some hooker, ya know. It's pricey to ged laid nowadays."</p><p>... Ok, no. Eddie sighs and tighten is handle on his bag. With his other hand, he catches some colored sharpies before turning his back on the teacher and his stupid grin. He just want to left and forget what he just heard. Thinking about Richie getting laid is definitely something he planned doing dureing the weekend.</p><p>"See you at school mr. Kaspbrak!" </p><p>He can imagine the other man waving at him stupidly. He would rather not watch though, guessing Richie's smile would not go well with the other thing iin his mind. </p><p> </p><p>____________________</p><p> </p><p>Eddie watches his daughter going out of school with a sad face. Promptly lots of scenarios, as bad as the previous one, came to his mindd as he squats and reaches out for the little girl to come so he can hugs her. </p><p>"Hey, hey Harper baby what is going on? <br/>
- Nothing papa." </p><p>Her voice is small and even sadder than her look. He tighten the grip around her and his hand start to stroke the back of her head. </p><p>"You know you can tell me everything baby, right? his someone at school bothering you? Is it about your teacher?"</p><p>The little girl refuses to respond. Fortunately, a man approaches them. Eddie is about to turn him down but the girl next to him seems has bothered as Harper and quickly he understand there is a link. Without breaking the hug, Eddie rises, Harper in his arms. The man smiles politely at him before offering his daughter a nice, mom like, grin, as if he wanted to reassure her. The other little girl is watching them, a begging look on her face. </p><p>"Hello, sorry to bother, you are Harper's father right? I'm Mike, Rebecca's mom."</p><p>He offers him a hand and Eddie shake it, not totally understanding yet. </p><p>"Nice to meet you, I'm Eddie.<br/>
- Nice to meet you too. Look i'm really sorry to insist, but Rebecca would really love for Harper to come to her birthday this weekend. And I know your daughter is not allowed but she could spend a really good time with the other kids and makes new friends. You know how is it to be new in town..." </p><p>He offers him a polite smille while his mind tries to understand. </p><p>"I'm sorry, what?" </p><p>His gaze returns to Harper who is looking at him with a resigned unhappy face. The kind he hates seeing on her pretty visage. It reminds him too much of the looks she used to had with Myra around. His free hand come stroke her pinky cheek.</p><p>"Harper baby, why didn't you tell me about this?<br/>
- I don't know, I'm not allowed to go to strangers house's." </p><p>Myra really did a number on her. He sighs sadder than he would like to before turning to Mike. </p><p>"I'm sorry of course she'll be there.<br/>
- I can Papa?" </p><p>Her eyes light up and he can do nothing but smiles at her. </p><p>"Of course sweetie. Mom's rules don't apply anymore remember?<br/>
- Thanks Papa! I love you so much!<br/>
- Me too baby." </p><p>She kisses his cheek before living his arms to go hug Rebecca, jumping on each others and dancing like the happy little girls they are. Mike smiles at him, seeming more relaxed around him. </p><p>"I'm sorry about this. She... Well, my wife didn't let her go her friends places. She wasn't allowed to do much, to be honest. Thank you for inviting her, it means the world. She was so afraid she wouldn't have friends.<br/>
- Eddie it's okay, really. Rebecca loves her, she wont stop talking about Harper. It will be a pleasure to have her around. <br/>
- Oh, okay, thanks. I have to say though, I'm not really familiar with kids birthday. Should I bring a gift? A cake? Something else?"</p><p>He laugh and Eddie feels so dumb right now. But he chuckles with his so he doesn't feel totally out. </p><p>"You can bring a gift, but only if you want to! And if you can, of course. It is really not mandatory though, don't stress you out. Bringing Harper is big enough of a gift for my daughter."</p><p>His smile fades a little, with discomfort, and Eddie know he's going to ask. Who would not?</p><p>"I'm sorry, it might be inappropriate but you talked about your wife... Is she a Jehovah Witness or something? My friend Katty told me that they don't do birthdays? Won't she get angry if you come by?<br/>
- I'm divorced. Full custody. No crazy woman will bother you and set your house on fire.<br/>
- Oh, cool. No! I mean, not cool. But. Well, dads rule right?
- Yeah, right."</p><p>Eddie smiles to him to let him know he's not embarrassed at all. Letting Harper have friends and a social life is a thing that matters so much to him. And maybe socializing would be a good thing for him too. Something more than skyping Bev and Ben, or talking to Steve at the water fountain. </p><p>"Great, i'll bring her at your place... Wait, where and when is it?<br/>
- Yeah right, you might have missed the invitation card. Here it's all written. Some parents will stay for lunch, we're planning a barbecue with some members of the parents committee. We'll be happy to have you. Harper seems to really be liked by the kids. <br/>
- I mean, I don't do much but taking care of her. Might as well come, if she's okay with it.<br/>
- Sweet, let me know. My number is on the card if you need anything!<br/>
- Will do, thanks again. And.. Thanks for Harper. It means a lot to her. And to me." </p><p>He smiles at him before grabbing his own child and leaving, not before saying Harper goodbye. The kid wears the brightest smile ever all the way down their house. It feels so good to see her this happy. Like her own happiness could nourish him for the rest of his life. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all for reading this! As I said, It's my first time, I hope you are enjoying it. If you see a typo, feel free to send me a message!<br/>If you want to reach me, my twitter account is @toziernewby! I'll love to hear back from you!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A wave of stress invaded him as he watches Bev's number appears on his phone screen. He purposely did not called her last night, too lost in his feelings, not ready to have any kind of conversation, let alone this one. Because after Mike's invitation, Eddie lost himself thinking about how Harper didn't dare ask him, convinced her dad would say no. As if she didn't deserved to have some fun, and above all, friends. </p><p>He thought he had managed to reassure her but this incident made him rethink about it all. How traumatized the little girl is, how strong her mother’s impact was. Maybe he should have let her see someone after all. He had rejected Bev's idea, afraid Harper would feel odd, not like every other little girl. A pariah. He couldn't bear to see her like that. but now everything has changed and he doesn't know what to do. </p><p>The phone stop busing and Eddie sighs in relief before it start again. He grits his teeth before finally taking the phone, the stomach upside down, ready for the Hanscom storm to hit him. </p><p>"Eddie why are you avoiding me?<br/>
- I was not avoiding you, I had.. Things to do, ok? I was busy that's all.<br/>
- You are such a bad liar Kaspbrak and you know it. You also know that you always text me when you can't answer, bragged about it the day you showed me the messages that you programmed according to the situations you are in. You literally have one just for me you dick.<br/>
- Yeah okay alright stop it. I was not in the mood. <br/>
- Not in the mood? What mood? What mood is 'talk to Bev' mood? We always talk about everything sweetie."</p><p>Her voice soften as she talked, as if she could see his sorry look. It was obvious something happened, but not something too serious or he would have called to warn her. So, she knew for a fact Harper was not wounded, or Myra didn't tried to call. But still, Eddie's voice was starting to worry her. </p><p>"Is this about Harper?<br/>
- Yeah she... It's stupid. But one of her new friend asked her to come to her birthday and Harper said no, without even asking me, because she was 'not allowed'. And it made me really angry, and upset. <br/>
- Eddie i'm sorry... We knew it was going to be hard for her to adapt to a life without Myra. But she seems to do pretty fine, no? You told me she has a lot of friends right? She sounded happy last time we talked.<br/>
- Yes she doing fine. But you know, I hoped she will understand that she can do whatever she wants now, that she's free. <br/>
- It will come, believe me. She soon will be so free you will regret it.<br/>
- I will never regret it."</p><p>To imagine his daughter happy, free to laugh loudly, to run into the grass without fear of falling and hurting herself, or worst, stains her pants, free to be herself for once, moves Eddie so much he could cry. She deserves it she deserves it so much. </p><p>"So... Is she going?"</p><p>Beverly started talking again, bringing him back to earth. He runs a hand over his face before answering, a little smile starting to show on his face. </p><p>"Yes, yes she is. Even if it's this weekend and I don't fucking know what you are supposed to do when your kid go to a fucking birthday because she never did. What kind of gift should I buy? I'm afraid of buying something too fancy, or maybe not enough? And Mike- Rebecca's dad- he said I should stay because they are doing this barbecue with the others parents but barbecue meat is so unsafe, everything is not cooked the same so you can have an uncooked part and you can have trichinosis or worms or-<br/>
- Eddie. Breath. <br/>
- Sorry." </p><p>The man takes the time to breathe and put his ideas back in place before continuing. </p><p>"Beside Ben and you, I'm not the 'lots of friends, confident popular' kind of guy. What if I say something about illness or cleaning or I shoot at some kid and they hate me and don't allow Harper to speak to their children again? <br/>
- You know it will not happen because you know how to behave because you are a grown up Kaspbrak. And you'll do anything for your daughter, even eat undercooked meat. <br/>
- Maybe I should say I'm a vegetarian so i don't have to risk it all?<br/>
- Maybe, or maybe you can make concessions and actually enjoy yourself."</p><p>Behind her, he can hear the kids asking for dinner. Harper is in her room, calm and weirdly quiet. Maybe she's still upset about what happened. </p><p>"Maybe... I got to go Bev, dinner is not ready and I should bake something for Harper so she can relax and we can talk about it. <br/>
- Good idea. Your daughter definitely loves sugar. <br/>
- Unfortunately.<br/>
- Let her be a kid!<br/>
- Okay! Okay yes, right. I'm gonna go before yours start eating the couch. Say hi to the family!<br/>
- Would do. Buy sweetheart. And Eddie?<br/>
- Yes?<br/>
- You are an amazing father, don't doubt it. <br/>
- Thanks Bev..." </p><p>He hangs up, a brighter smile in his face. It always means so much when she is the one telling him. Because she had a moster of a father, but also because she now have Ben, the perfect exemple of a steady, brave and kind father who would do everything for his family. Eddie thinks that if he can be at least 1/2 of that, he'll do pretty good. </p><p> </p><p>________________________</p><p> </p><p>Harper is eating slowly, day dreaming, her eyes away from him. Eddie forces a smile before starting to talk, not knowing which words to use for her to feel safe. But he needs to do this, for her and for himself. </p><p>"So... How was school today?<br/>
- It was fine I guess." </p><p>Her small shoulders rise before she returns to her plate. One moment, the father hesitate wether or not he should continuing the conversation. But he knows he cannot just forget about it like nothing happened. So he continues gently, one step at a time.</p><p>"Did you and Rebecca talked? About the birthday?"</p><p>Harper puts her fork down before finally glancing at him, a little pout on her adorable face. Eddie feels his heart melt. Gods he loves her so much. </p><p>"She asked me if you were sure about me coming to her house because her dads have a dog... <br/>
- Yes I'm sure baby love. She seems to be a cool friend, right?<br/>
- She is."</p><p>Her little smile finally appears and Eddie is happier than ever. </p><p>"Do you want to invite her sometime to play or anything?<br/>
- Really Papa?<br/>
- Yes, I mean, if you want. We can do that. We can do what we want now."</p><p>Her smile starts glowing as she looks at him, happiness in her smiles. She leaves her chair and come, hugging him as hard as she can. A little laugh escape Eddie's lips and he grabs her and puts her on his lap, returning the hug with all his love. After some time, the girl starts to speak again.</p><p>"You know Papa, maybe you can invite friends too. We have enough room for everybody in here, right?"</p><p>Her smiles is so genuine he might have a heart attack. </p><p>"Thank you Harper, i will gladly invite Beverly and Ben as soon as they can come. Timmy and Rose will be happy to see you. <br/>
- What about your new friends?<br/>
- What... What new friends my love?<br/>
- You know, Rebecca's dad and your buddy from work.<br/>
- Harper sweety, they are not really my friends you know.<br/>
- Why?"</p><p>Her little smile disappears, and the pouting come back. </p><p>"Because adults are not friends just because they talk to each other.<br/>
- It's stupid-<br/>
- Language. <br/>
- Sorry. But it IS stupid Papa. Rich says you can be friend with everybody if you are just kind. Even if you don't really like the same things, you can just talk and hurrays, you are friends!<br/>
- Who's Ri... Wait, Rich as Mr Tozier? Why do you call him Rich?<br/>
- Because he said so. He's our friend so we can call him Rich, or Doc, as in Snow White! Because he has glasses.<br/>
- Sweetheart he is an adult, he is not your friend.<br/>
- But he is Papa! He helped me talk to Rebecca the first time and he told Joey and Lee to let me play with them. And he's learning the class to play the ukulele, that's so cool dad!<br/>
- He.. what? When? Where? Why? School has instruments?"</p><p>Eddie is really curious now. Harper's last school offered paid music lesson after class but nothing during the school time, and for free? </p><p>"We only have five for the whole class but Rich is going to buy new ones soon, he promised. He said I'm really great you know, he said i had fairy fingers, and thay fairies are really good with music.<br/>
- I'm sure you are love, you are always so good at everything.<br/>
- You think?<br/>
- I'm sure! My daughter is a champion."</p><p>Her giggles makes him smile as he rubs her back. The pressure leaves his shoulders as he watches her, happy, herself.</p><p>"You think Rebecca wants a ukulele for her birthday?<br/>
- Yes! She's really good to! Can I have one too? We could make concerts and spectacles!<br/>
- Good idea! My daughter will be a rockstar I'm so lucky!"</p><p>He grabs her and gets up, waltzing her with his arms as she starts laugh to cry. The most delicious sound he ever wanted to hear. </p><p> </p><p>_____________________</p><p> </p><p>The house is welcoming, full of toys and books, a sweet smell of lavender. The floor seems clean and the living-room is almost tidy. Nothing as clean as his own home but it will do. His only concern is about the big barking dog he's already searching from the corner of his eyes. Soon, a huge Bernese mountain dog appears, his tail wagging like a wind turbine during a storm. Harper does not dare to approach, frightened in front of the beast practically as big as her. Eddie is not reassured either but puts a hand on his daughter's shoulder to give her some courage. The dog is soon joined by some brown aired guy wearing flannels, grinning at his daughter who smiles back but not dare to leave her father.</p><p>"Hi! You must be Harper! Beck is so happy you are here, she made raspb-b-erry cakes just for you.<br/>
- That's so cool!"</p><p>She turns to her father, silent, pushing him to say, or do, something. </p><p>"Hello, hm, I'm Eddie, Harper's dad-<br/>
- Yes my husband t-t-t-old me. We are hap-p-py Harper's here<br/>
- Thank you for inviting her. I was afraid she wouldn't make friends-<br/>
- Papa!<br/>
- Hey, don't pinch me!"</p><p>He glances at her, frowning. She gives her an apologizing smile in her little face. He sighs and pats her head. </p><p>"You can go play love.<br/>
- You will behave, right? <br/>
- Yes, daughter, I will behave. What about you?"</p><p>Her smile becomes a grin and she kisses his hand before running to join the garden and the other children. After watching her leave, he turns to the other father not really knowing what to say. They faces each other a hot minute before the other man speaks again. </p><p>"I'm B-b-b-bill. Nice to finally meet you.<br/>
- You too. Thank you for inviting me as well. We just arrived in San Fransisco, so I don't go out often. <br/>
- I get it, really. We used to live in Maine before Fri-fri-frisco, so it was a relief to f-f-finally come to place where no one looks at you strangely because you have a husband. <br/>
- Yeah, no, I guess... Well, Mike told me you are with the parents committee? <br/>
- We are, it's how we met some of our friends. Come, we are outside. do you want something to drink? <br/>
- Thanks, just water. Where do I put this?" </p><p>He raises the bulky gift to show it to the father, not sure what to do with it. The other man smiles, thanks him and tell him to put it on the dining room table. When Eddie comes into the room, time stops. In front of him, pecking in a bowl of crisps under Mike's desperate gaze, a messy, messy figure. Richie Tozier.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is a little bit longer than the last one, I really wanted to set the mood for the next one, which is gonna be intense! Hope I'll write it quickly. 😬</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>SO.<br/>This chapter contains curses, a little bit of alcohol and puck, a bigger bit of Eddie questioning his and Harper's trauma, and some old good Trashmouth!</p><p>As always, feel free to tell me if i worded something wrong or else. English is not my first language so it can be messy down there.<br/>Hope you'll like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie doesn't understand what Richie is doing there, a teacher invited for the birthday of one of these students? school teachers don't do that, they don't mix work and personal life, right? Eddie would never have thought of inviting his daughter's former teachers, not even in his most intense nightmares. Inflicting stress on her, fear of behaving badly in front of him, giving him a negative image that could impact her schooling for the rest of the year? What sane parent would do that?</p><p>He has no time to be indignant, the man finally turns to him to welcome the newcomer, imitated by Mike. His stupid smile lengthens as his gaze settles on him. Why is he looking at him like that? Eddie feels the tips of his ears heat up as he puts the gift down, trying to seem as relaxed as possible. An extremely difficult task for the father.</p><p>"Eddie! Welcome, I'm happy you made it, Beck's been running everywhere since she woke  up. And she is not a morning person, believe me.<br/>
- Thank you Mike. Mr Tozier." </p><p>He offers a polite gesture towards the teacher, unable to look elsewhere. The man in front of him wears the ugliest shirt he has ever seen. The pattern represents several types of dogs and is repeated on a black background which brings out the animals' unreal colors. Eddie has a hard time understanding that someone one day could have authorized this  6′2" child to teach kids. The teacher gives him his best smile and Eddie feels the bottom of his bowels melt. Fortunately for him, the other man opens his mouth and the heat escapes to give way for the annoyance.</p><p>"Hi Road Runner, how was your trip? Killed anyone on the way to get here?<br/>
-  For fuck sake, are you freaking serious?<br/>
- Ouch, a lot of bad words. Kids might be listening Mr. K."</p><p>Eddie blushes, suddenly remembering where he is. With a sudden gesture he turns to Mike and Bill who joined him against the counter and who are looking at them, an eyebrow raised for the tallest, an amused smile for the other one. Eddie mutters an excuse before throwing his hands in his pockets, embarrassed.</p><p>"I don't know why I'm rude, It's been a while...<br/>
- Don't worry Eddie, Richie tends to have this effect on people. It's not the worst reaction I've seen.<br/>
- Yes he can b-be ob-bnoxious but he doesn't b-b-bite. <br/>
- Bill! Stop ruining my street cred."</p><p>Bill laughs as Mike rolls his eyes. With his best smile, Richie returns his attention to Eddie who feels his body warm. Stupid body. </p><p>"Want something?  We have Bud Light, Guiness, Busch, Vodka?<br/>
- No Rich Eddie j-just want-<br/>
- I will have a Guiness, thanks. <br/>
- Some Irish juice it is then!"</p><p>If he has to spend the afternoon listening to Richie Tozier, he should drinks as much as he can while doing it. He conscientiously avoids Bill's surprised look and watches Richie pour him a drink with his giant hands around the bottle just out of the fridge. How can he has such big hands? Stupid. His hands are stupid.</p><p>Eddie still doesn't understand what the teacher is doing there. He is about to ask when the two hosts guide them to the garden, not without throwing Richie to stop digging crisps before the meal. In the garden, two tables have been set up.</p><p>A large table at the bottom of the garden is covered with a red gingham tablecloth, cardboard plates and spangled unicorns decorating the small banquet made especially for children who run around laughing loudly. He recognizes among the small crowd Rebecca, cheeks decorated with a chalk butterfly. Eddie feels his shoulders tighten imagining Harper covered with this shit threatening to damage her skin and causes allergies. But afterwards he realizes that all the kids are adorned. All except his own. A surge of guilt blows his previous concerns.</p><p>His gaze then settles on the second table. On it the plates are real and wine glasses await them, accompanied by small unicorns of different colors hanging on each of the glasses' feet. Two other people are seated at a table, the man caressing the woman's cheek with a tenderness worthy of a love film. He's uncomfortable when Mike cuts them off to introduce the newcomer. Immediately the woman's face lights up while she opens her mouth with a... surprised face?</p><p>"Oh, so YOU are Harp's father!<br/>
- Harper. But yes. I'm Eddie, nice to  meet  you...<br/>
- Stanley and Patricia. Parents of Nathan and Raphael, the twins with the pink crowns over there."</p><p>It is the man who presents them in a dry but not mean tone. Just ... cold. A tone that does not escape to Richie while Eddie remains there, standing at the table, not sure of what to do now that he is here.</p><p>"Stan be nice, we don't want Eds to run away right now!<br/>
- Not my name."</p><p>Eddie snaps before regretting it. Because Richie's grin grows more than Eddie would ever expect it to do. What Richie says next makes Eddie want to burn something. The teacher, maybe.</p><p>"Sorry. Stan, be nice to Road Runner out there, we don't want him to run away and crash anybody's car.<br/>
- It's the last time I lend you my car Tozier.<br/>
- What ? But dad, I need it, it's homecoming!<br/>
- Beep beep Richie. Eddie, sit please and don't pay attention to him. He's always nervous when he meets someone new.<br/>
- Mike! Stop  betraying me man!"</p><p>Mike laughs and sits next to an uneasy Eddie. He knew it, he should have stayed at home. He is not made to be sociable, he knows it. He takes a long sip of his beer before turning to Patricia and Stanley, trying to forget the presence of the unbearable teacher.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I never saw you at school?<br/>
- Yeah, no, our older one learns to drive so Stanley accompanies her every day and I often work late, I'm a lawyer, so since Richie is their teacher it's easier for us. <br/>
- And... you let him?"</p><p>Richie laugh from the other side of the table. </p><p>"Come one big guy, I spend everyday with these kids, they can support one more ride with their uncle, they actually love it. <br/>
-  Uncle?"</p><p>The question comes out of Eddie's mouth, more curious than he would have liked. No physic feature seems to link them, but Eddie has no trouble imagining the other man looking after the two boys. In his head the image is even very cute. Mike got up to take care of bringing the rest of the dishes, salads and uncooked meat, while Bill went at the children's table, laughing with them, fooling around with a napkin while serving food. Before Patricia can answer, Richie opens her mouth.</p><p>"Not literally, but, you know. I've known Stan since we were the twins' age, it's the same, right Patty?<br/>
- I can't believe he spent so much time with you and hasn't murdered you yet.<br/>
- I wish I had babylove."</p><p>It's all strange, too strange. Eddie is uncomfortable, alone in the middle of this group who seems to know each other since the dawn of time. He seems to be an intruder invited by chance to a family reunion of which he does not know any member. He would like to leave, find an excuse and spend the rest of the afternoon in his car waiting in silence for the right time to pick up his daughter and leave as soon as possible. But Mike returns, placing a firm and friendly hand on his shoulder.</p><p>"So, Eddie, what brings you to San Francisco?<br/>
- I just got divorced, Harper and I needed some changes and my company offered a  place here.<br/>
-  I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have full custody...?<br/>
- Fuck yes. Sorry. I mean, my ex wife was complicated. Harper is better off here with me."</p><p>Richie opens his mouth full of crisps. </p><p>"Please tell me you didn't just kidnapped her like a bad tv movie.<br/>
- WHAT?"</p><p>Eddie can't believe it. Did he really hear what the other man just said? Richie's gaze is... Eddie can't read what's going on his face. He's furious. Is it really the image he sends back? Perhaps he is really depriving his daughter of a normal life, of a mother who loves her despite her faults? He feels the spiral of bad thoughts take over and Eddie can do nothing but get caught up in the storm of emotions. He does not hear the other parents shouting with anger at the other man who raises his hands to defend himself, apologizing in an embarrassed laughter, as if what he had said was just  a stupid joke. Maybe it wouldn't have been too serious with someone else. But Eddie's slap of guilt just makes him dizzy. From the corner of his eye he spots the children who are looking at the table, curious. Harper, eyes wide, wait breathlessly to see why his father has just roared.</p><p>Eddie blushes in anger, goes back to his chair, kicking the table. He catches a glass on the verge of falling. He no longer knows where to put himself. He doesn't know if he should get angry or say nothing for Harper. If he has to hit Richie, choke him, or just stick the meat knife straight into his asshole head. Instead, he takes a breath, murderous eyes left on Richie and his dullard face. His voice is low, he doesn't want to scare children. To hurt his daughter. He came for her after all.</p><p>"I don't know what kind of funny clown you believe you are, but let me tell you that you are just a pathetic jerk, ok? Harper's mom was abusive, so abusive that my daughter did not dare asking to come today because she always thought it wasn't right to have friends or to be with people, because she might get sick. It was out of the question to let her rot in an apartment to wait for time to pass until she is old enough to run away. You might think it's funny to make fun of people, calling them names and fucking talking about hookers and stuff to parents of the kids you teach, but it's unprofessional and I don't want my daughter to be around you anymore, and  I  don't care if it means to change her school or go to your boss or anything, but I WILL do it. Because you said it, we are not in some bullshit movie where the fun pretty goofy teacher gets out and become the hero or something.<br/>
- ... You called me pretty.<br/>
- Fuck, I'm out. I'm truly sorry Mike, but I cant just stay here right now. I will come latter to pick Harper, just... I don't know, if she ask, just say I had to go to work for something. Patricia, Stanley, I'm sorry. Have a nice day, you all. And Mr. Tozier, fuck you." </p><p>Eddie stands up and doesn't give them time to react, and leaves, trying to forget the looks of the other adults. Discomfort mixed with pity and shock. Eddie hates himself. Eddie hates Richie. Eddie hates Myra, and Mike, and Bill and Stanley and Patricia, and Bev who told him to come, and the living room, which is too big and makes him feel like it is taking forever to leave, and the door that he can't find again, and the heat of the air on his red cheeks when he finally comes out. Edie hates everything.</p><p>The few steps that separate him from his car are quickly made and Eddie drops behind the wheel, violently closing the door behind him as if to vent some of his anger. He remains silent, motionless for a moment, before hitting his wheel, barely restraining himself from shouting new obscenities. He wasn't unable to remain correct, calm, sociable. Despite his promise to his daughter, he screwed up. And he is angry with himself. His hands start to search for his inhaler as the anger turns into a wave of panic sprinkled with all the sadness in the world. He feels tears rising. Impossible to take the wheel in this condition. So he stays there, all alone in his car, and loses his mind.</p><p> </p><p>_______________</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck Rich, why did you do this?<br/>
- Come on Stan, I haven't done anything! The man can't take a joke...<br/>
- You just asked him if he had kidnapped his daughter, what's wrong with you?<br/>
- It was a fucking joke!"</p><p>The heat of October is stifling. Richie feels his face blush under its effect. Outrageous looks around him do not let him go. He needs to drink, a glass to refresh himself. A good long sip of alcohol. Forget his beer, why are they nothing stronger?</p><p>"Richie, you really have crossed the line here. You don't know him, you don't know what he's been trough. I know you tends to say  stupid shit when you are nervous around people but this? <br/>
- Mike please, he will recover, he is a big guy for his tiny body...<br/>
- No. Eddie doesn't know anybody in town. I'm pretty sure he hadn't spoken to any parent before me I asked him for Harper. The guy's loney and you gave him another reason to be alone. <br/>
- I did not know that Mike come on!</p><p>- This is the problem. You don't ask or wait or talk to people. You go head on and don't  mind if you break things."</p><p>Mike's disappointed look stabs him, destroying the rest of his amusement. He shouldn't have, okay. Why make a big deal out of it though? It's not like he knows the guy, like they're going to be his friend right? It's not like they're going to see him again .... Oops.</p><p>"I will lose my job, right?"</p><p>The realization is sudden, and it is violent. Richie paled visibly before jumping up and rushing into the bathroom, suddenly needing to puck. He doesn't hear Stan getting up and following him. The head in the toilet, he empties of all this anxiety that comes to overwhelm him. When Stan finally speaks Richie jumps in surprise before quickly cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand.</p><p>"Tell me why Rich. <br/>
- Fuck off.<br/>
- Ok Richard."</p><p>Stan stands there, against the doorway, arms crossed. He waits for the other man to catch his breath. Richie ends up dropping on the tiles, still pale as hell.</p><p>"I don't know, okay? I thought we were teasing each other you know, and...  It slipped, I don't know why. He was making me nervous.<br/>
- Why, because he looks and act like a functional adult or because he is, and I quote you, God himself?" </p><p>Richie looks down at the white tiles as he feels guilt and the tears that come with it. He tries to keep them in a loud sniff and is about to say a new stupidity when he hears Stan sit next to him, and feels his hand rest on his shoulder.</p><p>"So it's the God thing.<br/>
- Please, don't.<br/>
- It's easier when they hate you, because you don't have to pretend. You did the  same thing with Frank last time, and with Daniel the time before...<br/>
- I didn't say to them they were kids' thieves or whatever.<br/>
- Right, this one was the worst one. You have outdone yourself-<br/>
- Thanks for the pep-talk man, you always know what to  say.<br/>
- Let me talk, ass.  You did wrong okay, but you can still apologies. You are not a bad person, lets him see that."</p><p>Richie breathes out loudly before the tears come back, more of them this time.</p><p>"But he doesn't want to see me, he was pretty clear about that. Can't believe I'm gonna loose my job... I can't loose my job Stan, it's all I have.<br/>
- And you will keep it. Your boss loves you, she knows how good of a teacher you are. How much these kids love you. She will not fire you because of some personal things that are not school matters. <br/>
- Ok but if i'm not fired he will transfers Harper to an other school. It's almost worst, she was so lonely when she cames, she can't loose her new friends now. Not because of me...<br/>
- I know you care about the kids Rich. But she will be alright. At least she has a protective father, that we know."</p><p>The remark manages to cheer him up, not enough to make him feel better but enough to give him a little color. A good sign that Stan decides to follow.</p><p>"You can't help them all, you know. You must about you first.<br/>
- Yeah... Not gonna happen, sorry Stan the Man."</p><p>A sad little smile appears on his face drenched in tears.</p><p>"It would have been simpler if I was a normal person that knew how to flirt with people, right?<br/>
- You are normal Rich. You just have really bad taste and a trashmouth."</p><p>This time the two men are really laughing. A tired and sorry laugh, of course, but a laugh anyway. After another moment Stan gets up and reaches out to his friend to help him get up. Richie flutters but manages to regain his height, his embarrassed gaze still on the ground.</p><p>"I can't come back there, right? It's so embarrassing.<br/>
- We've already seen you do worst embarrassing things, trust me." </p><p>The two men return to the table. After a few whispered excuses, Richie sits down and says nothing more about the overly embarrassed meal. The subject does not return and Mike is relieved to see that Harper does not ask any question about the absence of his father. An impression of calm which does not manage to hide the nervousness of a Richie who misses all the opportunities to make a good joke, even those which the two couples tend to him in all consciousness.</p><p>When cake time finally arrives, Richie has almost finished destroying his napkin completely, methodically tearing up pieces of paper one by one and dropping them on the still green lawn. Beck and her friends stand around the large table at the back where Bill has put the gifts between the unicorns and the adults stay behind while the children pass the presents one by one to the delighted little girl. Richie could almost forget his guilt, but suddenly Harper runs to her new friend and hugs her before pointing out the voluminous gift, methodically wrapped in a stars' covered pgift wrap. The little girl throws herself on the packaging, eager to know what awaits her. When Richie sees the present his heart misses a beat and the urge to vomit returns. A pink ukulele, clumsily decorated with glittery unicorns. A ukulele, for lessons. For his lessons. Of all the choices Harper's father could have made, Richie knows that this one is the most touching. The most personal, perhaps.</p><p>"Dads! Look what Harp offers me! It's awesome!<br/>
- My dad also got me a purple one so we can play together and make a band!"</p><p>Rebecca lets out an egregious cry before launching herself again into the arms of the other little girl and it is too much for the nerves of Richie who completely break up at the idea of  Eddie buying the two instruments and customizing them with Harper so that they are perfectly to the taste of the two kids.</p><p>"Hey, Mike... Sorry i forgot the gift in my car, be right back." </p><p>Mike doesn't have time to say anything that Richie is already walking away from the excited crowd, little hands reaching for the instrument and begging to try it. He needs air to breathe away from this chaos which reminds him of how much he screwed up. Trashmouth, unable to stay serious for more than five minutes. His stomach does well to punish him, he deserves it. All because he is unable to close it as soon as a handsome man looks at him, for fear of being looked at for a little too long, of being judged, of being rejected for what he is. Might as well take it up for what he's not, not really. Not if he doesn't choose to be.</p><p>The outside air seems even heavier than in the shaded garden. On the street, Richie begins to breathe normally. Pacing around the door, he tries as best he can to calm his anxiety. He runs his sweaty hands over his face, overturning his glasses as he walk. Great, now he finds himself alone on the street, anxious and completely blind. Not without muttering several insults, the man leans over and tries to grope his glasses. His hands finally land on the object and he gets up, not without a victorious smile, putting on the pair and finally laying eyes on the world around him as if to verify that they are still working.</p><p>His eyes land on a car he recognizes immediately. The nausea returns, but he can't help looking at the figure in the driver's seat.</p><p>"For fuck sake!"</p><p>He can't get over it. Eddie stayed there the whole time? Waiting outside like a poor puppy left on the side of the road? It's more guilt than Richie can handle. His feet lead him towards the car and in a few strides he is there, knocking on the passenger window. Ready to get in there like the idiot he is. Richie, however, doesn't expect Eddie to turn to him, his face full of tears. All of his organs stop working and soon he can only hear his heart in his ears. The whole world ? Faded away. There is only Eddie who presses his fingers against his swollen eyes trying to stop the tears, frowning before wiping his cheeks with a sleeve stroke. Richie waits in silence for the other man to finally open the window. He has no idea what he's going to say to him, but he needs to speak. Now that he is there no more turning back.</p><p>"Hey... You okay down there?"</p><p>Well done Richie, you are officially the dumbest man alive.</p><p>"Wait shoot no I mean I know you're not okay, I'm just-<br/>
- What do you want?"</p><p>The tone the other man uses to speak to him hurts him. As if he was a nuisance, an intruder. Looking back, the teacher thinks that he surely deserved it. But still, it's not a cool feeling.</p><p>"I'm sorry. You know. About this.<br/>
- Good for you man, now fuck off-<br/>
-  Thanks for Beck's present. It's mean the world for her. And for Mike and Bill, of course, even though they might discover I lied to them about their daughter being that good but. You know. Kids."</p><p>Eddie's gaze changes from annoyed too confused, which in itself is a good thing for Richie who begins to finally catch his breath.</p><p>"Yes so... About what I said. I didn't knew man, I am truly sorry.<br/>
- It's in her file.<br/>
- I'm sorry, what?" </p><p>Eddie sighs and his head falls back onto the headrest of his car. He closes his eyes, back off, and Richie hates it.</p><p>"The divorce, it's in her file. Myra... My ex-wife isn't allowed to see her anymore. We talked with the school principal about it because I am afraid she might come here and take my daughter away even though she doesn't even know we live here now. Harper really suffered and I hoped we could forget but I guess not.<br/>
- I'm... I mean.... I am truly sorry Eddie, I didn't knew...<br/>
- It is in her file. The file you suppose to read when kids come to your fucking class."</p><p>Eddie opens his eyes, dry but still red with anger, and turns again on Richie who looks at him, leaning out of his window.</p><p>"I never read it. I know it's stupid but it's important that it comes from the kids, you know? Parents puts a lot of words on their mouth, they are better off without this pressure of me knowing stuff they don't want me to know. I mean, I read the allergy page, of course, it would be a real mess if I didn't."</p><p>Richie no longer knows what to think of the emotions he thinks he can read on Eddie's face. Perhaps ? But his back is starting to really hurt him to sit there like an idiot.</p><p>"Do you mind if I just..." </p><p>Without waiting for an answer, he opens the door and sits on the passenger seat, a contrite smile on his face.</p><p>"Nice car, when it's not stamped in my car.<br/>
- Thought it's was your friend's car.<br/>
- Yes okay, you got me there."</p><p>The two men stay like that for a moment, looking straight ahead to forget the tension of the last hours. Richie wouldn't know where to start anyway. There are so many things to say. When he opens his mouth, Eddie does the same, both speaking at the same time.</p><p>"You know Harper needs to stay with her friends."<br/>
"I don't want Harper to leave her friends."</p><p>The two men look at each other, not quite sure who should continue the conversation first. Finally, Eddie beckons Richie to continue. The man swallows his saliva and resumes his speech, gazing into space, unable to look at the other man.</p><p>"The first days she was very tense, you know. She did not go towards the others, she did not dare to speak, she did not even dare to move to be fair. I should have known there was a problem, but when I saw you with her the first day I knew you were a good father so, I didn't really questioned this. I just thought she might be shy. One day some kid made fun of her and I had to interfere because she was clearly upset. So I took my Uku and I just went for it, inventing silly songs about friendship and all of this. At the end she was really happy and the other kids started going towards her, Beck first obviously. So, yes, I believe she really needs to stay here, with them. But please don't get me fired because I love my job. But i can ask for here to be in an other class, and spend lunch time or else with Beck and the others."</p><p>As Richie speaks, staring blankly, Eddie turns to him, placing a tender look on his face that blushes at the sensation of being watched. Eddie's eyes are too big, too black, too bright. They penetrate him right through and Richie feels like he is bleeding from every pore of his skin.</p><p>"You started a music class just for my daughter?"</p><p>It's the only thing Eddie says and it unsettled Richie. </p><p>"Well, they all liked it so... Why not? Harp's a good kid. Besides, it is way cheaper than hiring hookers for all of them.<br/>
- Fuck I can't believe you right now!"</p><p>Richie finally smiles as Eddie comes to cover his eyes with a desperate look. The atmosphere is suddenly lighter, for his greatest pleasure. The discussion was getting too serious for him. So as always, he ended up joking to change the subject. There is a silence again between the two men, but this one is lighter, less disturbing. In reality, the moment is even pleasant, and he has the impression that Eddie also appreciates this sudden peace. But after what seems to be both a decade and a few micro seconds, the father straightens up in his seat, building an assured, serious face.</p><p>"I will not go talk to your principal, or ask for Harper to change class. But please, promise me you will read her file. She can't be hurt again. <br/>
- I'll do. Pinky promise.<br/>
- I'm not pinky promising you you dickwad.<br/>
- I knew you were thinking about my dick down there.<br/>
- What? No man, what is wrong with you?!<br/>
- Well, not my dick!"</p><p>Richie can't help but laugh at his own joke and for a moment he feels like he sees a smile on Eddie's face. A smile that warms his heart. But already the moment escapes as Eddie rests his hands on the wheel.</p><p>"Aren't they looking for you?<br/>
- Shit, yes, I was just getting some hair. Might tell them you kidnapped me."</p><p>Richie sees the look of his new friend darken visibly and his hand covers his mouth with a drastic sorry gesture.</p><p>"I'm sorry man, too soon?<br/>
- Way too fucking soon. <br/>
- You really swear a lot for a dad. <br/>
- I know, Harper always tell me that bad words-<br/>
- Are for bad people. I know, she told me so."</p><p>The image of the little girl reprimanding her teacher seems to amuse the father because finally a real smile comes to soften his worried face.</p><p>"You should go back.<br/>
- Yes, it's cake time.. Wait, doo you want me to sneak around and get you a slice?<br/>
- No thank you, i'm fine.<br/>
- Sure? 'Cause you ate nothing earlier...<br/>
- It's fine, I can skip a lunch from time to time.<br/>
- Must be right, your body can only store a tiny bit of food at a time.<br/>
- Fuck off Tozier!"</p><p>This time it's a laugh that comes out of the other man's mouth and Richie's heart misses a beat, again. He is sure to have a heart attack by the end of the day if he stays too long with Eddie.</p><p>"You are right, I might get in here... See you around Eds.<br/>
- Not my name. See you, i guess."</p><p>After waving at the other man, Richie gets out of the car and joins the porch of the house. At the last moment he turns around, and meets Eddie's gaze. He blushes, before smiling at him, waving again as he enters the house, lighter than before.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I spend the day writing this, I didn't expected for this chapter to be this long, I'm sorry but I HAD to. Hope you liked it don't hesitate to contact me if you need anything! I'm @toziernewby on Twitter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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